Friday, May 04, 2012

Does this question make me look fat?

So Joe, who you’ve already read about here, and who is still reluctant to allow me to use his real name on my blog, because I spontaneously ( I believe the word he used was 'gratuitously') bring up the topic of hoo-has where they don’t belong  (though why does referring to them have to be so awkward?), called me this morning to catch up. 

Though he's incredibly busy, and spends a lot of time flying around to different corners of the country, and the world (which makes me just hate him and envy him madly), he always manages to find time to call me every other day. And while I just babble on and on and on, most of my tirades are just met with a 'Hmmmm.' But he has been dealing with me for many years, and he has learnt well.

Me: I noticed that X (a friend of my ex: and don't miss how original I have been while picking imaginary names) has recently added a Y (my ex’s wife) as a friend on Facebook. That sucks! That really makes me question his loyalty! I have decided to un-friend him. He was Z’s(my ex’s) friend to begin with anyway. I just kind of inherited him.

Joe: Hmmm

Me: Do you think that makes sense?

Joe: Hmmm

Me: No, I mean seriously. Do you think I’m being childish?

Joe: (long pause) No. Not at all.

Me: No, come on, I mean, really.

Joe: Really?

Me: Really.

Joe: No.

Silence.

Me: Joe, what the *beep*?

Joe: There's a whole bunch of questions that belongs to the ‘Does This Make Me Look Fat?’ category or a subset thereof.

Me: Okaaaay. And?

Joe: The answer to these questions must always be ‘No.’

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